Words are powerful. They could lift us up towards healing, or they could wound uslike sharp swords that pierce our hearts.
Which words have such a painful effect upon us and that leaves us feeling worthless and shattered after hearing them? Which people have the power to utter those words that often leave us broken and defeated ?
THEIR ARE THREE THINGS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO CRITICISMS THAT HURT US DEEPLY .......
1- THE CRITICISM THAT TOUCHES A WOUND :
Words that are totally untrue rearly have the power to hurt us. We hurt because we felt some truth to the criticisms hurted against us. Such criticism may not be totally true, but they may point towards a truth we've always wanted to hide or to some related weakness that we haven't been able to address so far.
Note that some of these weakness may not even exist in reality, but if we perceive them to exist or go matter go us the wounds exist, and they hurt whenever they are touched.
For example; we may think we're not good looking enough and words said about our appearance trigger some feelings of insecurity. In truth, we may not really lookthat bad, but when we believe that we've not attractive, we'd always feel attacked whenever somebody tries to make fun of our appearance.
2- THE CRITICISM THAT COMES FROM A PERSON VALUABLE TO US :
It is the people who are closest to us whom we count on the most. We expect them to protect us, to defend us from people who may look down on us, and to guard the vulnerabilities we have revealed to them.
Once the start criticizing us, we immediately feel the intensity of the impact of their words. We may feel like we're being attacked by those whom we trusted with our greatest secrets, including the weakness we have hidden from everyone else.
Weren't they supposed to be the ones who would understand us to most ? Weren't they the ones who should believe in us despite the imperfections that they are in us?
3- THE CRITICISM THAT COMES FROM SOMEONE CREDIBLE :
Criticism have a greater impact when uttered by those use deem as credible in the area where we are being criticized.
For example; If we are joining a signing contest, it is the judge who also happens to be a great singer, who has the power go affect us with her words of praise or disapproval regarding our singing ability.
They may not be always right, but since we have already given them our belief in their particular area of expertise, we easily consider their words as true.
Once all three factors exist at the same time, the more will be out hurt and our difficulty in trying to move on from said criticisms.
For example; may be we feel insecy about our intelligence, and we have been criticized as being stupid and shallow. What we make it worse is when that criticism came from a person we love, such as a life partner, and more so if that person is one whom we consider as possessing a high degree of intelligence.
IN SUCH INSTANCES, HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THE CRITICISM THAT DEEPLY HURT OIR SELF-ESTEEM ?
1- FIND HEALING FOR OUR WOUNDS :
Hurt caused by criticisms may be opportunities for us to discover the wounds we have. This in turn may give us the chance to heal and to be more at peace with who we are.
2- SEE THE INTENTION OF THE PERSON CRITICIZING US :
If the person criticizing us is someone we love, let us try to look at their intentions for doing so. In truth, they may only want us to improve so we can have better lives and because they really care about us.
If however, we find out that the people criticizing us have all the wrong intentions, such as really feeling envious and desire only to put us down, then we can learn to protect ourselves from them and not let their words affect our self worth.
3- KNOW THAT NOBODY'S PERFECT :
Which words have such a painful effect upon us and that leaves us feeling worthless and shattered after hearing them? Which people have the power to utter those words that often leave us broken and defeated ?
1- THE CRITICISM THAT TOUCHES A WOUND :
Words that are totally untrue rearly have the power to hurt us. We hurt because we felt some truth to the criticisms hurted against us. Such criticism may not be totally true, but they may point towards a truth we've always wanted to hide or to some related weakness that we haven't been able to address so far.
Note that some of these weakness may not even exist in reality, but if we perceive them to exist or go matter go us the wounds exist, and they hurt whenever they are touched.
For example; we may think we're not good looking enough and words said about our appearance trigger some feelings of insecurity. In truth, we may not really lookthat bad, but when we believe that we've not attractive, we'd always feel attacked whenever somebody tries to make fun of our appearance.
2- THE CRITICISM THAT COMES FROM A PERSON VALUABLE TO US :
It is the people who are closest to us whom we count on the most. We expect them to protect us, to defend us from people who may look down on us, and to guard the vulnerabilities we have revealed to them.
Once the start criticizing us, we immediately feel the intensity of the impact of their words. We may feel like we're being attacked by those whom we trusted with our greatest secrets, including the weakness we have hidden from everyone else.
Weren't they supposed to be the ones who would understand us to most ? Weren't they the ones who should believe in us despite the imperfections that they are in us?
3- THE CRITICISM THAT COMES FROM SOMEONE CREDIBLE :
Criticism have a greater impact when uttered by those use deem as credible in the area where we are being criticized.
For example; If we are joining a signing contest, it is the judge who also happens to be a great singer, who has the power go affect us with her words of praise or disapproval regarding our singing ability.
They may not be always right, but since we have already given them our belief in their particular area of expertise, we easily consider their words as true.
Once all three factors exist at the same time, the more will be out hurt and our difficulty in trying to move on from said criticisms.
For example; may be we feel insecy about our intelligence, and we have been criticized as being stupid and shallow. What we make it worse is when that criticism came from a person we love, such as a life partner, and more so if that person is one whom we consider as possessing a high degree of intelligence.
IN SUCH INSTANCES, HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THE CRITICISM THAT DEEPLY HURT OIR SELF-ESTEEM ?
1- FIND HEALING FOR OUR WOUNDS :
Hurt caused by criticisms may be opportunities for us to discover the wounds we have. This in turn may give us the chance to heal and to be more at peace with who we are.
2- SEE THE INTENTION OF THE PERSON CRITICIZING US :
If the person criticizing us is someone we love, let us try to look at their intentions for doing so. In truth, they may only want us to improve so we can have better lives and because they really care about us.
If however, we find out that the people criticizing us have all the wrong intentions, such as really feeling envious and desire only to put us down, then we can learn to protect ourselves from them and not let their words affect our self worth.
3- KNOW THAT NOBODY'S PERFECT :
No comments:
Post a Comment